No Offence Ladies, we love you all... this is just for fun: - How many men does it take to open a beer? - None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. - Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? -Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. - Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ...

No Offence Ladies, we love you all... this is just for fun: - How many men does it take to open a beer? - None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. - Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? -Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. - Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ...

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving. Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised. Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. I'm not a complete idiot, there're still so...

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving. Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised. Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. I'm not a complete idiot, there're still so...

DEAR DIARY Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. Oct. 14 - Canada--it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it her...

DEAR DIARY Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. Oct. 14 - Canada--it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it her...

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread Mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning. My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes too, but I can't remember getting E-coli. Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring). The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA syste...

- I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. - I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. - I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. - I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." - ...

Sohrab Sepehri's 75th birthday It was seventy five years ago on the 7th of October. He was born in Kashan, a city by Kavir in the middle of Iran. His parents called him Sohrab. Where are my shoes? Who called me - 'Sohrab!' - with a voice as familiar as air is to leaves? My mother is sleeping, Manuchehr and Parvaneh, everyone in the city, perhaps, is sleeping. The May night touches each second as easily as a fugue and from my blanket's green border a light breeze comes brush...

Arguing with your Boss is like'wrestling with a pig in mud'. After a while, you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually 'enjoying it'. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again !!!! Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers. It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it 'creative problem solving'. Behind every 'successful woman', is a man who is surprised !!!! Whoever said 'mo...

Arguing with your Boss is like'wrestling with a pig in mud'. After a while, you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually 'enjoying it'. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again !!!! Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers. It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it 'creative problem solving'. Behind every 'successful woman', is a man who is surprised !!!! Whoever said 'mo...

- It only takes a few seconds to hurt the people you love... and it can take years to heal... - There are two eternities that can really break you down..."Yesterday and Tomorrow"...one is gone, and the other doesn't exist....so live today. - Do not marry a person that you know you can live with... marry someone that you can not live without!!... - It cantake years to build trust.... and only a few seconds to destroy it. - what is most valuable is not what you have in your life... bu...

To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning. It is to trust that miracles happen, and dreams really do come true. To believe is ,to know the wonder of a stardust sky And the wisdom of the man in the moon. To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart, The innocence of a child's eyes and the beauty of an aging hand, For it is through their teachings we learn to love. To believe is to know we are not alone, That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it. ...

These are some words I recieved and they are believed to be Alber Einstein's words. Thanks to Nasim for sending them to me. The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. Isn't it strange that I who have written only unpopular books should be such a popular fellow? Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. Any intelligent fool...

When Love met Madness A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, virtues and vices wandered bored, not knowing what to do. One day, they were all gathered and bored more than even when Ingenious had an idea: Why don't we play hide and seek? And all of them liked the idea, and immediately the mad Madness shouted: I want to count, I want to count and since no one else was crazy to seek for Madness, Madness leaned on a tree and started to ...